Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Enjoying the Peace

People constantly remind me that I am "crazy" for having my kids so close together. We planned it that way. And when I tell them I want more, well, they just don't know what to say. Why wouldn't I? I have two amazing children. A boy and a girl. They are kind-hearted, happy, and easy-going 99% of the time. I love being a mother and at times I beg for a little peace and quiet ten uniterrupted minutes alone to make sure my head is still attached to my body. I wouldn't call my life chaotic, because I think that gives a negative feeling to how I feel about my job as a wife and mother. I'm just busy. Very busy.

The truth is, I've always been busy. I didn't just wake up one morning and decide I needed to keep myself entertained. I had three part-time jobs in high school, was the captain of the cheerleading squad, cheered for the competition cheerleading team, was in the Spanish club, volunteered as often as possible. You get the picture. I'm the one who thinks they can do it all. And I'll die trying. I've never been one to be able to sit and enjoy the quietness around me. The quietness drove me crazy. I always had to be doing something.

My husband often tells me I need to relax more. And I agree. But, when? When the kids are hungry? Or when they need a bath? Or maybe when they need a ride to preschool? No, I shouldn't relax then. What about when dinner needs to be cooked? Nope. That wouldn't be a good time either. There is never a good time, really. So, I can easily justify not relaxing as often as I should.

But, some days (like today) I'm just sitting here. The wind is blowing in my face as I sit on our screened in porch. The kids are sleeping. It's quiet. I've heard the neighbors dog bark a million times. Somebody nearby is mowing their lawn. But, me, I'm just sitting here. With nothing to do and no where to be. I'm just thinking to myself and thanking God that I'm here. Right here. Right now. The peace and quiet won't last and I thank God for that. Because just a few minutes by myself, every once in a while, is all I need. My husband will be proud of me today.

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