Tough Love

We are on night 5 or so (I have honestly lost count) of Lily coming into our room during the middle of the night. Her night light bulb burned out a few weeks ago and she was fine without it so I just never have replaced the bulb (mistake number one). Every night between the hours of two and four AM, I hear her door open and she just stands in her doorway for a second or two (I'm sure until she figures out where she is and where she wants to go) and then prances in to our room. She knows better than to come to my side, so she goes straight to her Daddy's side of the bed and starts climbing right in. Sometimes, I don't hear her climb into bed (I have been a sound sleeper ever since I had Landon). On these nights, I wake up in the morning to find my sweet curly-haired toddler sound asleep between me and her Daddy. Sometimes long ways. I usually get her feet and Kevin her head. I'm glad we have a king sized bed...but it doesn't seem very big when the smallest person in the bed gets the most room.

On the nights she does wake me up, I walk her back to her room and lay with her. She has gotten into a bad habit of not wanting to fall asleep without one of us laying with her. We are certainly not used to this, as she has always been the baby/child that could be put in her crib wide awake and she would fall asleep on her own minutes later. This is also the child who sleeps in so long, I would typically have to wake her up so I had enough time to get her ready for preschool. She loves her sleep (like her Mommy) but lately, she has this unexplained pattern of interrupted sleep.

Tonight, I had to hold the door to her room shut for a few minutes (yes, I know, sounds tragic!) after she "went to sleep" because she got up and came to the door exclaiming that she "needed to go lay in Mommy and Daddy's bed"....Although it sounded very cute that she "needed" us, I guess she realized she wasn't going to win that battle and eventually gave up and got back in bed. So, as we struggle with our two year old who has made up her mind that she loves Mommy and Daddy's bed much more than her own, I am reminded that if this is the worst thing I have to deal with each night, I will make it through. Children are a blessing and it's easy to forget that when things seem "tough"...

But, I'm sure somebody, somewhere has it much more worse than I do. And for that I am trying hard to be thankful. These are the times I realize it is much harder to be a good parent than it is to be a bad one. Because I'm so tired at the end of every day, I so badly want to say, "Okay, just go get in Mommy and Daddy's bed!"...but that would eventually lead to more issues, I'm sure. So, for now, I'll just hold the door shut every night after Lily goes to bed and hope that she soon grows out of her "need" of being in my bed.

It's hard to have tough love with these kids, but somebody's gotta do it! ;)

UPDATE: (July 29, 2009) I spent my night (again) in a full sized bed with a pretty little girl that rolled over every few seconds to make sure I was still there. Oh, I hope the end of this is in sight!

I love this song. It's so true!