He Just Knows

I was already in bed and he brought me my iron supplement and a large lemonade with ice filled all the way up to the top. He had drive to Sonic and delivered it to my bedside. He helped me situate my pillows to try and get me as comfortable as possible. He turned the fan on because he knew I was starting to have a hot flash. He helped changed my shirt after he realized I had a long sleeved t-shirt on. It was the only thing I could find that fit. And then he came and fanned me with a t-shirt and told me to go ahead and order a recliner. He just knew. When I think back on this pregnancy in the days, weeks, and years to come, I think I will remember those little moments where Kevin said nothing and out of nowhere he just appeared - to help me get off of the couch, out of bed, a drink. When he can hear my breathing loudly as I bend down to help one of the kids with something, he makes me go sit down. He just knows. Knows that I need him, but I so desperately want not to. I've never really needed anyone like this before. Sure, it's hard being pregnant. But, I had two of the most textbook, picture perfect pregnancies ever with Lily and Landon. And I don't know if it's written on my face or not, but I thank God he knows. Because although he can't feel what I feel, he is right there beside me without me saying a word. He knows it's different, knows it's harder, and knows that even though I say I can do it all by myself...I need him now more than ever. And I'm okay with that.

I think it finally hit me tonight. You know, that this is my last and final pregnancy. It makes me so sad to think about, but at the same time, it makes me fight that much harder to keep going, reminding myself that every day is a huge step towards a goal I have to make. Six more weeks and I'll be 30 weeks...Duke Medicine's goal for my pregnancy. But, certainly not mine. I tell you. I have a whole new appreciation for Kate Gosselin and all of the others who have ever carried more than one baby at a time. My doctor told me last week, that my body has basically reached "full term" capacity, had I only been carrying one baby. The stress on my heart, the strain on my lungs, the inability to get around, the aches, the pains. It's crazy to think I have two more months to go, but I know I can do it. I will do it...

We finally decided on our three names and I think that makes it even more real. They are perfect for our girls' and I had NO idea how hard it would be to name three babies! It was pretty tough, though. I long for the day that I get to hear their cries and see their faces. What a miraculous day that will be.

This is me on July 31 at 23 weeks. I feel even bigger now. As of this past Thursday, I have gained 25 lbs. To put it in perspective a little bit, I only gained 28 lbs. total while pregnant with Landon. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be close to the 50 lbs. they'd like me to gain. :)